January 23, 2007

Fuck

I feel like shit. Mostly.

You see how I modify my statement? Make it not-absolute? For to be absolute is to be incorrect. For I perceive absolutes to so rarely exist. Let me try again.

I feel like shit.

Ahhh, there, no modification. I trust my audience to filter my statement and come to the conclusion that shit is not the entirety of what I feel. I also trust them to understand the metaphor, or whatever it is, and realize I don't feel like shit in actuality. I simply mean that I feel sad, angry, frustrated, fearful, hateful, disgusted, and/or confused in some mixture. A recipe that might list those things as the ingredients and then tell one to mix in a human body for a certain amount of time at a certain heat and bad comes out. It might then briefly explain that bad is a synonym for shit.

I'm not going to delve into the causes for this finely baked good, because this is not a place I want to do it.

Is it not interesting how dreams lose their flavor? Passions fall by the wayside.

It is sometimes reassuring to realize that while I am a small, fucked-up, crippled ass of a man, I am also God.

Now tell me, is that not a little bit of feel better medicine?

Shanti om, hari om, shanti om.

I really need to learn some prayers in a language I speak.

2 comments:

girlalex said...

Yup. Know that feeling. I don't know if the "I suck but I'm also god" idea makes me feel any better either.

theamberkey said...

My sense is that the feeling is universal--an intimate part of our makeup.